Survivor

I consider myself a survivor.

I saw a total of seven minutes of the GOP National Convention. I will probably have watched a total of 10 to 12 minutes of the Demo festivities by the time it ends this week. And, I will likely have racked up 13 to 15 total minutes of that so-called “Survivor” thing on network TV by the time it is over.

For those reasons I consider myself a survivor. Most of you pholks have endured hard times in your lifetimes and come away a better person because of those hard times.

I lump the two conventions and the Survivor program together because each of them, in my opinion, have no real meaning and no consequence. Each is show business, nothing more, and probably nothing less.

What the hell is happening to our culture? Supposedly we are caught up in this reality thing. We are becoming a society of voyeurs with web sites from peoples homes, apartments, offices, workshops, medical offices, you name it. Shows like Big Brother, Survivor and dozens now on the networks and the Internet are taking over our lives.

Seems like most everyone is hooked on this Survivor thing and I find that so discouraging I am considering moving to a remote island to live out the rest of my natural life. My wife hasn’t been talked into it yet, even though sometimes she suggests that I leave right away. That seems to happen when I forget to take out the garbage or some other chore I promised to do right away, but that is another story.

But just about the time that remote island idea pops into my head I suddenly get sweaty palms, goose bumps and the shakes. Out of nowhere come these images of being on this island and seeing a digital camera hidden in a palm tree, in a piece of driftwood, or in some exotic flower. My every movement, including the bowel kind, is being beamed around the globe into the homes and offices of millions of strangers and I haven’t known about it. I’m helpless. I can’t do anything about it. I become paranoid. And, the world is enjoying it and somebody is making millions off my plight.

But back to reality for a few minutes. Let me tell you why I won’t watch Survivor. It’s a phoney thing and nothing like the great shows on the Discover channel, or channels depicting real life stories or those which have some degree of reality with real actors and real situations.

Though I haven’t really seen enough to be precise about the situation, I have noticed that this island that the group of “everyday people” were dropped off on has had considerable construction done on it. In fact, there have been stories that the production costs is the highest in “game” show history. The meeting place where the votes are taken and the meeting held was pretty well constructed. Nice bricks, good theatrical lighting, some nice torches, and all that. And with network film crews and all that production equipment capturing all the contests and worm eating and rat trappings, and etc. it is hard to image that the subjects really are stranded. But most people don’t realize that.

And are these “chosen contestants” just ordinary pholks off the street. I think not. How many rounds of auditions did they survive? The selection process was certainly not random. And look what is happening to those who are being “thrown off” the island. They are celebrities and are making tons of money selling their stories, being given bit parts on other Hollywood programs and even posing for skin magazines.

This pholks, is show business. Plain and simple. And the American public is buying it. And just wait for a week or two when the winner is named and makes the round of every show on television and hundreds of websites, magazines, and newspaper across the nation and other places. I bet the Survivor winner will make a guest appearance in the Monday Night football booth before the NFL season is over.

You want a real show? Grab a dozen people, give each one match, two cans of tuna, a sharp knife, two changes of clothing, 10 gallons of water and dump them on a real desert island. Come back in one year and see who has done the best. Take your pictures then and listen to the stories of each survivor. If any.

I might be interested enough to watch that--if I’m not on some other remote island without a care in the world.