April 18, 2001

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The abuse continues.

Every day I see more and more of it and I see other pholks getting hot under the collar as the abuse and neglect continue to mount.

I saw it in a bank. I saw it in several restaurants and coffee shops and even right there in the supermarket isles. People doing it in their cars is bad enough, but to do it right in front of the milk, cheese, butter and turnips while I wait to squeeze the tomatoes is just about more than I can stand.

I even saw a mother do it with one hand as she was holding her infant daughter in her other arm. Right there in public.

While waiting not so patiently at the drug store counter I watched the woman in front of me do it while she was being waited upon. As the rest of us waited and waited the woman carried on a conversation which was none of our collective business. I was tempted to tell the clerk to add suppositories to the woman’s prescription with directions on how to use them in conjunction with her cell phone.

Again my wife, who was not with me, would have been proud of my restraint. I did not create a scene and only gave a roll of my eyes to several other pholks in the waiting line. I got eye rolls back along with a head shake or two.

The bank incident was the one which was most irritating. A young couple, early 20s, I would guess shared their phone with each other as they talked with the teller. The conversation had nothing to do with banking but something about what was planned for later that evening and something about some mutual friends of the talkers and the talkees. When the teller talked with the guy he handed the phone off to the gal who went right on without missing a beat.
These are not isolated incidents pholks. It happens everywhere at every hour and in every situation you can imagine. Watch a baseball game on television and see how many jerks and jerkettes are on their cells. And keep track of how many wave to the camera to someone they are talking to at home or in a car.  You can almost read the lips which are saying “Hey Dude lookey me. I’m here and you’re there and we’re talking. Cool. I’m on TV. How about that? What’s up?”

Well, it’s a good thing he is there and I’m at home ’cause if I were there next to him he would be hearing how cell phones can be used as suppositories. Of course I would have to be with some friends before I would say that.

The more I think about this the madder I get. I have been giving some thought to forming some kind of  protest group--vigilante perhaps is too strong---to deal with this lack of respect, manners, common sense and dumbing of society.

Neighborhood  groups--perhaps we could call them posses--could be formed to patrol public spots and the streets. Of course we would have to communicate with hand signals and not cell phones to coordinate our attacks. In our wake would be smashed cell phones, deflated egos and stunned abusers of public’s civility. Like Paladin on the old western tv program the posse could leave a calling card. Instead of  “Have Gun Will Travel” our cards would read something like “Have Manners, Will Teach You Some” or maybe “R-E-S-P-E-C-T learn it and live.”

I haven’t come up with the correct name for this group and I’m seeking suggestions. It needs a name which will be catchy and meaningful. Something which will relay our purpose, yet simple and to the point. Something like Neighbors Organized Combating Excessive Loose Language (NO-CELL) or  Disgruntled Involved Serious Citizens Opposing Noisy Non-Essential Cellphone Telecommunications  (DISCONNECT).