May 2, 2001

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I couldn't believe my eyes or my ears last weekend as I watched a television segment about an "innovative" approach to education which is gaining momentum in this county.

This private school approach is based on the philosophy that "students" –for want of a better noun–can do what they want to do, when they want to do it, if they want to do it and not have to worry about any grading for what they do or don't do.

As I watched this show, my mouth gapped only five or six times, I cussed a lot, shook my head and sounded off to my wife who mainly shook her head, rolled her eyes and gave me indications that she agreed with my reactions.

"Subjects" in this school included, but were not limited to, hanging out, state boarding, video and computer games, "recess," and assorted other non-academic activities.

Interviews with the parents of these "students" reinforced my contention that more and more of our American citizens are simply screwed up with little hope of getting un-screwed up. Asked if they cared if their kids didn't learn to read until they were eight or 10 years old, they said "No." The same answer for math, science, history or anything else of importance.

The parents were at least smart enough to have money to pay for this "school" and didn't really look dumb or stupid except when they opened their mouths.

There is even more to this madness. Teachers serve at the whims of the "students" who meet and discuss then vote on whether the teacher should be kept or let go. Heck pholks, that means the "students" probably have to take time out from their "hanging out" or skate boarding to vote whether to kick out or keep a teacher.

So what we have are a bunch of well-to-do parents who pay to send their children to "school" where they can do what they want, when they want, if they want to.

Well pholks, I can remember wanting to reject a teacher or two and I loved to hang out instead of going to algebra but I had to keep my"votes" to myself or my buddies and if I missed algebra I found out that I was missing what I already was missing in class.

In grammar school I considered recess my best subject. I didn't get a "real" grade for recess but I hardly ever missed one. And the only reason I ever missed recess was due to punishment for doing something I shouldn't have done.

This new approach about no grades sounds good–in fact too good to be true–until you try to get into a real school or college. I can see some kid trying to be accepted into a college saying, " Grades. We don't need no stinkin' grades. I was great in hanging out–the best in my class, in fact–and I aced advanced skateboarding and did an outstanding job in ninth grade in coloring. I really stayed inside the lines and used all the Crayons in the box. I want to be a doctor or maybe even a ‘brian' (They couldn't spell brain if they had to) surgeon."

Anyway, I think this idea about new methods of education needs some work. I think the parents who pay to have their kids go through this process will get what they pay for. And the kids will never know what they are missing. They won't be smart enough to understand what they hear or read what is someone writes about them.