The Gift That Keeps On Giving

There's nothing like a gift which just keeps on giving.

So pholks, even though I probably never will buy a tractor I will tell any of my friends who might be in the market for one to see my good friend Bill Kavar of Farmer's Tractor and Equipment Co. of Porterville.

That's cause good ‘ol Bill gave me that gift which is sure to keep on giving me things I never even thought I would need. Things such as the fact that if you place melons on top of tin cans in your garden it will make them ripen quicker or that 21 to 28 days is the approximate number of days it takes for asparagus to germinate.

Those are just part of the things listed on the back side of pages in the neat 2002 calendar my good friend Bill The Tractor Seller Guy handed out to me and a dozen other guys over coffee this week. Heck, once I noticed the info on the back sides of the calendar pages Bill had to go out to his pickup truck and get more calendars. Lots of companies give out calendars during the holidays. It's good business and has been for a long time. Even though there are not as many girlie calendars given out now that everything has to be politically correct and all, calendars still are a great way to put a company's name before a lot of faces for a whole year.

Even though those girlie pictures never insulted me, I think all those facts , helpful hints and interesting tidbits on this new calendar are stimulating in themselves.

I haven't had time to go through all the pages (I've got a full year) I checked some things out and here are just a few of the more interesting:

HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD HINTS:
Keep combs and brushes clean by mixing baking soda with hot water and applying it to the brush or comb. Let it set a few minutes and then rinse with hot water.

On a monthly basis, put a half-gallon of white vinegar in your toilet bowl and let it soak overnight. Then flush. This should help keep the bowl ring-free. (Unless, of course, you own a in-door dog.)

For an immediate air freshener, place a fabric softener sheet in the wastebasket.

HELPFUL MATH NOTES:
To find the area of a trapezoid add the two parallel sides, multiply by the height and divide by 2.

The volume of a sphere is determined by multiplying the cube of the radius by 3.1416, multiple by 4 and divide by 3.

STORING PERISHABLE FOODS REFRIGERATOR TIME LIMITS:
Eggs in the shell, one week. Asparagus, 2-3 days. Rhubarb 3-5 days. Green pes and lima beans, 3-5 days.

OUTDOOR TIPS:
Use a salt shaker to plant your small garden seeds. Simply cover some of the holes with tape to reduce the amount.

Keep charcoal inside a toolbox to help prevent the rusting of tools.

Keep old hoses that have a few holes. Use a nail to add more holes to the hose and you'll have an excellent soaker hose when you need one.

Apply Vaseline to battery cables post in our car to prevent corrosion.

To help protect shrubs from hungry deer, try hanging bars of Ivory soap from the shrub.

BREEDING TABLES (a list of incubation and gestation periods. Not locations of where to breed):

Incubation: Canaries, 14 days; turkeys, 28 days; swans, 42 days,; ostriches, 41 days.

Gestation: lion, 108 days; mouse, 31 days, elephant, 21 months; sheep, 5 months; wolf and fox, 62 days; ass 12 months; dromedary, 12 months; monkey, 7 months.

GERMINATION TABLES
Pumpkins, 6-10 days; celery 12-20 days; rutabagas. 4-7 days; watermelon, 8-12 days, okra, 15-20 days.

Those are just a few of the things on this fantastic calendar. I can find the correct time in any part of the world, predict when my sheep, if I ever have any, will give birth, figure out the volume of a trapezoid, and improve my melon production.

I think that I must share some of this great info which I don't even have to go on line to discover. Perhaps in future columns I will toss in an interesting fact or two just to help you pholks. I might even try and get on Jeopardy, my favorite TV program which I generally do well on already.

And Bill The Tractor Seller Guy will become one of my new best friends. Heck, he might even give my a finder's fee when he sells all those extra tractors to pholks who will call him to get their very own calendar.

---

The above stories are the property of The Valley Voice Newspaper and may not be reprinted without explicit permission in writing from the publisher.