Wine Snob?

I've been called lots of things but "wine snob" has never been one of them.

Even in my drinking days I rarely drank much wine and even then most of it came from screw cap bottles. Corks in bottles are a pain and it makes the wine cost more even if it isn't any better. I never raved about a $50 or $300 bottle of wine, even if I knew I had tasted one.

While I never learned to appreciate a fine wine, I have prided myself with a sense of humor. Even if some of my attempts at humor don't fly, I think I know what is funny. If I can't ring the bell, I sure can appreciate those who can.

Well pholks, I gotta tell ya about two Kern County guys who are taking their compatible senses of humor and are starting to ring bells. Actually they are starting to ring cash registers and may well end up laughing all the way to the bank--or banks.

Clete Harper and Terry Hill are buying wine bottled in Pixley–yes Tulare County's Pixley, marketing it through their North of the River Winery of Oildale and poke fun at wine snobs and the north Bakersfield neighborhoods where they were raised.

The two men have labeled their wine Harper Hill--a combination of their last names--with two essential varieties: Redneck Red and White Trash White.

This week their wines are featured in the Visalia Long's Drugs store at $12 per bottle. The novelty of these wines has sent them flying off the shelves in every outlet they have been placed in. Redneck Red and White Trash White are fun. They make good novelty gifts and according to some who have actually tasted the wine, the quality is not bad. Reportedly Harper and Hill began making their own wines with wine-making kits which produced less than vintage wine. After a year of obtaining licenses and permits, they found a winery to bottle their product. Oildale does not have any Harper Hill grapes. I don't think there are any wine grapes in Oildale. Cacciatore Fine Wines and Olive Oil Corp in Pixley produce the wines. North of the River Winery is only a name. And the source of the humor is the red neck image of Bakersfield, Oildale and surrounding area. Add the success of Jeff Foxworthy whose poking fun at hillbillies and redneck lifestyles and combine it with from the hip shots at wine snobbery and you have Redneck Red and White Trash White. This, my friends, is a blend of success which many wine makers never achieve.

And Harper Hill does not rely simply on the names to make fun of over pretentious wine promotion. Just take a careful look at the front and the rear labels. The Redneck Red labels features a sketch of a mustached guy who probably could easily make his sister's heart race on their first date at the tractor pull.

White Trash White sports a drawing of a bare shouldered peroxided blond with a come-hither, gap-toothed smile.

The back label of the Redneck Red reads: Nestled in the scenic foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains is the quaint community of Oildale. Known for a rich, cultural history of art and music and more recently for a wine label called Harper Hill. Strategically planted between pumping oil wells and oil sumps are rows of grape vines. This blend of oil land tar-tainted soil lends itself to a wine grape flavor seldom duplicated throughout the world of viticulture. Before passing this grape nectar over your pallet, inhale the deep aroma of true, undiluted petroleum. This fine wine adds flavor and bouquet to anything friend. Enjoy!

In part, the White Trash White label makes this suggestion: At your next trailer park potluck, surprise your neighbors with this teasingly, trashy white. No catfish should be served without it!

This venture might not live up to the success of the infamous Pet Rock but don't bet on it. And with more products, including a Champaign called Tiny Bubbles and some beers, the prospects appear to be high. While getting high on these libations may not be the most desirable goals, Clete Harper and Terry Hill should have high spirits...in a matter of speaking. And marketing.

A good combination of a sense of humor, taking a chance and having a lot of fun doing it.

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