Shuper for Governor: Part II

Do I have second thoughts about choosing not to run for governor of the Great State of California?

Absolutely not.

At the time it seemed like a tough decision when I made it, but looking back I hardly can imagine that I really gave it any kind of serious consideration. Although the final list has been whittled down to around 140 or whatever, a dozen of so "big names" are going to battle it out. Who would be dumb enough to battle with the money of an Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Simon, Peter Ueberroth, Larry Flint, Tom McClintock, Arianna Huffington, Gary Coleman or someone with a big political bearing like Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamonte.

Some overly endowed stripper and former Ms Universe are not the kind of people I could compete against for photo opts, although in my younger years I could have given Arnold some competition, albeit on a smaller scale. And pholks, you have to consider that Arnold has a little more hair now than I do and he is, after all, about six years younger than me. Cruz and I are about the same height, but he has a better tailor and a bigger clothing allowance.

And did you hear about the stripper/porn star who says she'll go on a date with anyone who contributes $5000 to her campaign? No sex involved, she promises. Well pholks, it's hard for me to even comment on such a tacky political trick as that. Politics make strange bedfellows and all that stuff. Too many easy jokes to be made. I mean election of a governor of such an important state is serious stuff. This is not supposed to be funny. This is serious.

But even if I somehow could overcome all those obstacles, winning the governorship of California most probably would be the worst thing that could happen to me - or anyone else. Talk about a no win situation.

How would any of you pholks like to be the person who was elected to govern a once great state with a whopping 17 percent majority vote? Even by California standards, that kind of percent is not a landslide nor a mandate.How could you ever by considered a winner? What kind of self-respecting person could be proud to be "swept" into office with 83 percent of the ballots cast for someone else?

How much political clout could a person swing having been elected with five times as many people voting for someone else than you, the winner?

Can't you just imagine other governors attending a nationwide conference and pointing to the California leader and saying, "Oh look, there's California's new governor. You know he (or she) was elected with 63,789, a whole 7.3 percent of the votes cast. He must be awesome. I wonder what his secret is. I gotta talk to him or have my campaign people talk to his people. Ha. Ha."

There is no doubt that whomever is elected is going to be on every TV network seven days a week, for six or eight weeks straight and every joke possible about California is going to be passed to every corner of the nation.

And think about our place in history. Can't you just see what students will be reading about thirty years down the road?

"Back in 2003 Californians ousted their governor and elected a movie star. The next year, California had two more successful recalls. They elected a 44-34-36 former exotic dancer to lead the state. She was kicked out of office five months late when things in California continued to sag. Gary Coleman became the next governor but again voters waged a successful recall deciding that Governor Gary just didn't measure up.

Former Los Angeles Laker star Kobe Bryant, was the next state leader, flirted with the idea of running for top state post, but after ‘scoring' a victory, he resigned when his third wife said the job was keeping him too far away from home."

Maybe the history books won't say exactly those things, but who knows.

As a former could-been-a-contender I wouldn't want to bet against it.

But everything aside, please remember to go out and vote - for something or somebody. It's cheaper than the cost of circus tickets.

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