National Cell Phone Courtesy Month

Well Golly Gee pholks, guess what month this is. Of course we all know it's July, but how many of you know that July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month.

Great idea. But it won't work, even for a day, let alone a whole month....one which has 31 days, no less.

Most of you should know by now, my stand on cell phones. Great devices, when used properly and only when needed—both of which rarely occur.

It's been a couple of years since I started spouting off about the abuse of my personal freedom and the freedom of anyone else who is offended by cell phone jerks who come in all sizes, age groups, social and economic status. I use the term jerks ‘cause this newspaper is a family oriented publication, the boss frowns on really bad language, I'm respectful to others and my grandchildren might read this someday. I'll just give up some letters and symbols so those of you who want to make up some adjectives for cell phone abusers can have some fun: S..@..F..C O..$@!.C #$5 H.. M.O..F #$R...S,,@# #$ A ,,,D@#$c#$%.. ERS ^&@. This not a contest and no winners will be chosen and no prizes awarded. Just personal satisfaction of being able to call someone a ..M#$%67-A--4 $4in@

Pholks, I can't take credit for leading this charge against good taste, manners, common courtesy, common sense, logic, and safety, but it is rewarding to me that so much is made of the issue. States, counties, cities, communities and other entities have passed laws against cell phone use. More are in the works. Every think tank, research institution and what have you seems to be doing some kind of study or experiment about cell phone mania and mayhem.

The fact that a whole month has been devoted to the issue tells us something. At least it tells those of us not afflicted by this social disease. But pholks, what really bothers me is the fact that nothing seems to work. Despite all the bitching, moaning, research, legislation and complaining the situation is getting worse. In several months tremendous progress has been made in the fight against the terrible problem of SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). We've set up a war, fought it, won it, are in the mopping up process and brought thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and others home and already are conducting Congressional hearings about it. We've come a long way in solving the cause of the tragic shuttle disaster. Heck in a few weeks period George W. has raised mucho millions for his re-election bid.

Why, oh why can't we tackle this cell phone plaque? Remember when families riding in a car used to play the license plate game. On a trip everyone tried to be the first to stop an out-of-state license plate. Try to see who could spot the most first. Today kids should be given the chance to see how many drivers NOT using a cell phone—handless or not—they can spot. Of course, today's kids probably are too busy watching a video or listening to a CD or chatting on their own cell phone to be bothered playing such a mundane game.

To those who would argue that "it's a free country.." and cite the right to free speech and that stuff, I say this: "If you have a mother and she should happen to die please make sure I have your cell phone number. I will call from my home or office phone during her funeral."

Or, "if you have a father–or at least know who he is–make sure he gets a good seat when he goes to a baseball game. That way he will be a good target while yakking during the game. Wouldn't want to have the wrong guy hit but a "stray" throw–from the stands."

Pholks, there are an estimated 137 million cell phones in use in America. And July also happens to be "National Hotdog Month" along with being "Cell Phone Courtesy Month."

Which commemoration do you think will be more successful?

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