The Dumbing of America

At first I was intrigued when the television news reader issued a "teaser" about the deadly dangers of "teak surfing," a new water sport involving powerboats.

Well pholks, I stayed tuned and learned what "teak surfing" is all about. Two minutes later I found myself shaking my head and asking "what the hell is wrong with this picture? How stupid are people?"

Within the next 24 hours several newspaper stories. Some of them relegated to inside page status and others earning front page headlines, reinforced this growing feeling I have that today's world is destined to self-destruct.

Common sense, a virtue which I was strongly urged by my parents, some teachers and other people whom I looked up to, today seems to be a rare thing. Seems like common sense is harder to find than rotary telephones, typewriter ribbons or flash bulbs.

And all this common sense going down the drain seems to be mixed with equal parts of integrity, creating a cesspool of moral and mental waste.

Before stepping up all the way to the top of the soapbox, I offer these "news" items I gleaned in those 24 hours, starting with the "teak surfing" issue.

The news of a fatal "teak surfing" incident involved the death of a relatively young boy in the Sacramento area on an outing with his family.

He had been hanging on to a powerboat's swim platform (often made of teak) as the boat sped though the water. In most cases the "surfer" lets go and body surfs on the wake generated by the boat's stern. The faster the boat, the bigger the wake. Usually the "surfer" doesn't wear a life jack because it is uncomfortable and doesn't allow great body surfing.

What killed the Sacramento area boy wasn't the propeller but the carbon monoxide (CO) generated by the high powered speeding boat. In most cases the exhaust ports of the engine are within a couple of feet from the "surfer" who is either still hanging on to the swim platform or is "surfing in the exhaust-filled wake. In most cases the "surfer" suffers CO poisoning, loses consciousness and dies, not necessarily of drowning.

hat troubled me so much about this story is the fact that this new "sport" is so popular which means there are way too many stupid people owning boats and having zero common sense. What I don't get is how so many dumb people can make enough money to buy a speed boat.

But there is more to this specific story. Shortly after this boy died, not of drowning, but CO poisoning, his family went back to the lake and began handing out flyers to other boaters warning of the dangers. But, this family is now filling suit against the boat maker, claiming the company was negligent in not issuing warnings about CO poisoning and "teak surfing." Reportedly boat company officials have issued a statement that this so-called "teak surfing" is not a proper use of the boat, but it's a sure bet lawyers for both parties will be swimming around and around for some time. Since there is no solid case law allowing people to be found guilty, criminally or civilly of stupidity, the boat company lawyers seem to be at a disadvantage.

If this situation doesn't prove my point that the dumbing of America and the erosion of integrity and trust are picking up speed, consider the "news" stories in the papers the day after I saw the "teak surfing" story:

Police officer charged
A Fresno police detective, his father and a brother have been charged with defrauding Fresno Count's In-Home Supportive Services, which provides home-care services for the disabled and elderly, by allegedly filing a false claim with the agency to get paid home care for the father.

Well pholks, lets get this guy out of the detective division and get him assigned to working with school kids teaching them right from wrong.

Exit exam failing first test
California's high school exit exam, once heralded as a surefire way to ratchet up achievement and make a diploma worthwhile, is expected to be postponed amid concerns about high failure rates and the political and legal backlash from denying thousands of students the right to graduate next year. A majority of the members of the California Board of Education said they would vote next month to delay what was one of Gov. Davis' central education reforms.

In order to stop graduating so many dumb students the State Board of Education has set standards for getting that "valuable high school diploma." But since the students aren't being taught well enough or the students can't seem to reach the minimum standards, just postpone the deadline. Or, "dumb up" those standards. If you can't jump the hurdle, lower the bar. Cut off the top of the blanket and sew it on the bottom.

But pholks, if these high school seniors can't graduate, how are they gonna earn enough money to buy a boat and go "teak surfing"?

DONATIONS WELCOMED
Churches do it. So do museums and national parks. Now, the Golden Gate Bridge has joined the ranks of cash-strapped institutions using collection boxes to solicit donations from visitors.

Just how golden is this state? Will some of those donations go to add more red to the paint. The term "In-The-Red Gate Bridge" is certainly more realistic, but how much does honesty count anyway?

Ex-CEO to get $8m in benefits
Donald J. Carty, who resigned under pressure as chief executive of American Airlines, will not receive a severance package but will get more than $8 million in benefits earned during 25 years with the carrier, the company said Friday. The board of parent AMR Corp. decided that Carty will receive only pension, stock options and other benefits he earned - and "nothing special after that," said American spokesman Al Becker.

Boy, that'll show him.

---

The above stories are the property of The Valley Voice Newspaper and may not be reprinted without explicit permission in writing from the publisher.