French Fries

I will continue to eat french fries until (a)they kill me, (b) my wife somehow convinces me I can't, (3) they don't interest me any more, or(4) I find something better.

But don't any of you pholks jump to the conclusion that I'm not a true American. I never have had any strong feeling about France or the French. I'm disappointed as anyone with the stand the French government has taken against the U.S. effort against terrorism, Iraq and Saddam Hussein.

When this war is over, in the next week or two, the French and others who failed to support the disarming of Iraq will pay the consequences of world opinion and whatever fallout comes.

Again, I must repeat that I'm as disgusted with the French leadership as anyone. But I will not:

-Give up eating French Vanilla (light) ice cream.

-Forego enjoying French toast made with French extra sourdough bread. And sharing a few bites of it with my dog Panda. Nor will my wife, Kathy, give up one of herfavorite breakfast treats.

-Reject an opportunity to enjoy French roast coffee, when it is offered.

-Pass up a French Dip sandwich if it happens to be the thing which captures my appetite. The same goes for au jus (the French term for natural meat juice or gravy).

-Refuse to pass up a glass of wine ONLY because it is French. I will pass it up because I no longer drink alcohol. And if someone I know happens to order some at dinner or whatever, I won't throw a fit.

-Give up French kissing, although I don't do so as often as I used to. Neither will my wife, I hope.

-Ditto for French ticklers.

The fact is, pholks, I find it amazing just how asinine people are acting on this anti-French thing.

Calling French fries "freedom fries" or tongue-tickling kissing "freedom kissing" or egg-battered bread "freedom toast" is just like little kids calling one another names on the playground. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will...."

How much economic or diplomatic impact is a French fry boycott or French dressing or French bread going to have on France. Nadda, none, zippo, zero, etc.

In fact, boycotting such products would harm the American economy. American potato growers, bakers, wheat farmers and fast-food outlets would suffer if sales were to drop off.

Maybe all this seems like nonsense, but did you know that French fries are no longer served in the cafeterias of the House of Representatives office buildings. Yep, Rep. Bob Ney, an Ohio Republican who leads the House committee on administration, officially decreed the menu items be listed as "freedom fries" and "freedom toast."

Perhaps if several hundred thousand pholks, Americans and their supporters, canceled trips to France or refused to buy French products or other items, the message might get through. So if I enjoy my French toast along with a cup of French roast coffee for breakfast, enjoy a sandwich on a French roll for lunch and have French vanilla ice cream for dessert after my dinner and watch the French Connection before giving my wife a French kiss on the brink of going to sleep, I will do so with a clear conscience.

And I will still have no qualms about hoping the French leaders go to hell.

I bid you adieu.

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