Governor Arnold

Well pholks, we've got ourselves a new governor and only time will tell just how wise a move we've made.

In a very short time our President of the whole United States of America came to our state to shake hands with the Gov-elect Arnold. He pledged to work hard to help our state and help fellow Republicans. The meeting was held in Riverside but that was not the original plan. The original plan was for the two GOPers to meet and greet one another in Dinuba where the Prez gave a talk prior to a big fund raiser in Fresno.

Well pholks, what very few people know is why that change was made. I will share that with you my friends. Remember where you heard it first. This pholks is a scoop.

As we all know Arnold was born in Europe and has a distinct accent. Before I go any further I must say that I too have roots in the same part of the world as Arnold, and would never make fun of anyone else's heritage, or ethnic background or whatever. But Arnold has been a celebrity for a long time and now he is even deeper into the spotlight. He is fair game.

The reason Arnold did not meet Prez George is that Arnold has no problem pronouncing Riverside.

But his handlers and spin specialists didn't want to have the whole world see and hear him try to say Dinuba. He might have spit out "Dee-Numb-Ya" or "Doo-numb-eer" or ""Din-ubba".

And can you pholks imagine having to travel south on Highway 99 and take the "Cone-Joe" or "Connie-Jo" off ramp. That of course would have been after passing the "Maa-logga" off ramp. Of course See-quooo-a National Park would have been a struggle in any of his talks with locals. That's the National Park which the "Kaa Wau" River runs though.

There was no way Arnold was going to test his verbal wings in "Viz-ale-ya" or "Visa-waa" or even "Too-Lauree". Nor was there much of a chance of the Gov-elect going to to Co-coron" to shake hands with Pres. Bush. Of course it would have been okay to have the big meeting in Kingsburg or Selma but the powers that be played it safe with "River-side".

I also have it on good authority that Arnold already is busy making a selection for a diction coach to live in Sacramento to help him prepare for future trips to the Valley during his tenure.

He reportedly was quoted as telling an aide "I will return--as soon as I have Total Recall of all those Valley towns with the nice people who helped me become the Governator of Call-lee-four-ea."

ASK VISALIAN DEE BAUGHMAN TO RECALL his first buying adventure on e-Bay.

Dee, who works for a daily publication which has a heavy circulation in the South Valley, is a once-a-week golfer.

When a thief broke into his car in front of his home and stole several items including his golf bag and clubs Dee found himself internet shopping for a new set of links tools.

After getting out bid on a set of clubs he wanted, Dee again began the bidding process on a similar set and was the winning bidder. After paying and having new clubs on the way he found out that the winning bidder on the original set either didn't qualify or changed his or her mind.

Dee was indeed the winning bidder on two sets of clubs. Believing he was going to have to pay for booth sets, he told his friends and co-workers about his "buying mistake." Luckily, a co-worker liked the clubs and agree to buy one set when they arrived. About the same time the e-Bay people informed him he would not be stuck for both sets. There would be no penalty for Dee's poor strokes on the Internet.

With that settled Dee says his only problem is keeping his head down, eye on the ball and staying in the fairway. He might want to see what kind of deal he can find on golf lessons on e-Bay.

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