Election Night

7:05 p.m-. The California polls won't close for nearly another hour but I have found out that the GOP has retained control of the House of Representatives.

7:55 p.m.-California is captured by John Kerry who takes our state's 55 electoral votes giving him 188 to 200 for President Bush. California polls are still open for five more minutes. Ohio and Pennsylvania closed their polls more than two hours ago but NBC, which told us pholks, about California can't predict those states.

Meanwhile a local network affiliate newsperson tells us about several heated local contests, referring to one as "the most hottest" in the Valley. She promised to get us some numbers as soon as possible. 8:10 p.m.-Fox Network has Bush with 197 electoral votes and Sen. Kerry with 144. Click. ABC has Bush will 210 and Kerry with 188. CBS has in 219 to 199 in Bush's favor. 8:19 p.m. Good ‘‘ol Florida and Ohio are still up in the air on most networks but others have various and non-matching predictions.

NBC says Bush has not lost a state he won four years ago and, surprise, surprise, Kerry has not lost a state Gore won four years ago. Ohio and Florida are still the key states, the same thing everyone has said for the last several weeks.

8:23 p.m. I munch the remains of a leftover micro waved bacon cheeseburger and 11 french fries. Well pholks, this is how the night is going and I'm tired of taking notes and punching them in the computer keyboard. It was phun for a while but I want to finish this column.

I may or may not know who is winning. Depends on the network. I probably won't find out who wins that "most hottest" Valley race until I wake up and glance at the local channel around midnight or 1 a.m. I may be awake enough to care, I may not. I plan to dream about tomorrow's golf game.

I will not, however, lose any sleep due to the election. I will, probably, have fewer choices with my bedroom TV clicker than on a normal night.

Maybe I will drift off a little bit and dream about how we news pholks, used to cover big elections in the basement of the Tulare County Courthouse. Updated computer readouts were handed out every 15 to 20 minutes. Grab the printouts, take notes, and snatch the closest available phone. I used to be a stringer for the Los Angeles Times and made $50 to $100 extra for my reports for the Times while also reporting for the local daily paper. We saw the local numbers first. We were right on those "most hottest" races.

ANOTHER RACE WORTHY OF MENTION involved a local veteran of the construction and building trades who made a speedy exit from a Fresno area Mexican restaurant, thanks to his personalized license plate. The plate, which notes that he has "Plans" was noticed by a woman who followed him into the eatery and, after a few minutes, walked up to his table asking him "what kind of plans do you have for me?" Despite his stammered reply that the license plate referred to blue prints and such, the woman noted that okay but perhaps he might be interested other plans.

Not only did he decline the offer, he immediately made plans to exit stage left––without lunch. TWO OTHER PERSONS WHO ELECTED to park their police cars in the jury parking lot at the County Courthouse last week made a bad choice. A Visalia police parking patrol person wrote out tickets, which he slid under the windshield wipers. In response to my inquiry about the citations, the ticket book- toting officer quickly replied. "Jury parking only. They can't park there."

Might be worth a follow up to see if the tickets stand and if so, who pays.

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