The Protest

There are a lot of protests going on this week, especially in the Big Apple where the Republicans are going to jump, shout, wave American flags, give speeches, cheer and probably nominate George W. Bush as their presidential candidate. Outside the convention headquarters protesters will be hollering, shouting at the GOP, shouting at one another. Marching. singing, waving signs and doing all the normal protesters things. Given the state of affairs worldwide and the approaching of 9-11 and New York being the GOP Convention site, protests and protesters will be center stage, like it or not.

Meanwhile drama of the nomination will be even more than the Democrats produced when they made their pick for the White House.

But pholks, right here in our county, in the rather laid back City of Woodlake there is a protest going on which will get very little attention even if the focus wasn't on the GOP confab. This is very likely the only place the protest will receive any attention. There isn't much chance any arrests will be made and the SWAT team will not have to worry about being called out to lob any teargas or flash-bang grenades. In fact the police chief has been seen talking to the protester over morning donuts. He made no comment on the issue, just smiled.

These protesters are, for the most part, all middle age, at least. A couple second and third generation dissenters have uttered a peep or two but have not started any ruckus.

Pholks, this protest so mild that some days all of those gathered in the morning on Woodlake's main street, Valencia, forget to bring up the subject. Not one single protest sign has been painted and the closest thing to a march has been to the coffee machine for a fill-up all around.

The object of this, low, low, low key protest is the removal of a sign above a business next door to P-R's Donuts, a sign promoting, sort of, a new restaurant, yet to open.

The sign is a nice piece of art, featuring a beautiful young Latin lady. She is flashing a beautiful smile. She is also just simply flashing. Yes pholks, this truly fine young lady is bare breasted. This young lady also is no longer hovering above the roof line of the eatery which by the way has a name which, according to city sources, means "delicious," in Spanish.

The sign went up over a weekend. On Monday morning, it was taken down by a city crew sometime around noon.

City officials cited the fact that it violated city rules and since no one was available to answer any questions or to take it down, the city did the job.

Woodlake City Manager Bill Lewis says the sign "is safe and secure" and might be returned to the owners if they ask for it. An e-mail message and "several" phone calls arrived at City Hall in the morning hours. The calls and the e-mail, says Lewis, were from "concerned citizens" namely neighboring business owners or managers who were forced to look out their facing window right into the "eyes" of the handsome young woman.

Meanwhile the guys at the donut shop looked into the matter and commented among themselves about the fine job of painting someone had done. Luckily none of them was hit by a car or truck while standing in the middle of the street conducting their art appraisals. It was a good day for donut sales and the morning customer rush lasted a little longer than normal. That was because the guys just had to discuss the skill of the unknown artists (most likely a him) and the merits of the model whom several fellows believed they had seen on the tailgate of a couple of pickup trucks. Of course the protest started immediately the next morning when early arrivals discovered the masterpiece was gone. Not only was the sign the main topic of the coffee and donut group, it was the only subject. Guys who missed the signs heard all about it. Like a fish story, the merits of the senorita grew with each telling. Some who missed the sign just couldn't be convinced it existed. But pholks, I saw it and can attest that it was a fine painting with exceptional attention to detail. I know good art when I see it.

So no matter what happens in the Big Apple, the donut shop guys in Woodlake will maintain their low key protest of the removal of the big apples above the sidewalk on Valencia Street.

To sum up this protest, I simply remind you that when you try to compare apples to oranges, you're likely to run into trouble.

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