April 6, 2005
Baseball and Spring
Life is great.
Yes pholks, I vow to do my best not bitch or complain in this column Because this is the best week of the year I'm a happy camper. Easter is fine, Christmas is generally fun, Halloween is okay, and Thanksgiving ranks right up there near the top of the list. My birthday ranks pretty far up the ladder and my wedding anniversary is a high note.
But pholks, when Daylight Savings Time and the Opening Day of Major League Baseball fall in the same week, everything is great.
Long evenings, baseball on the radio or television, or both, makes me a good guy to be around and more charming than ever. And the opportunity to attend a local Oaks baseball game or play a game of catch with a grand kid are add ons.
So, with the Best Week of the Year finally here, I was celebrating a little and used a few spare moments to read the L.A. Times, something I only take time to do every 10 days or so.
I actually got the Times to get updated on Opening Day but spent a few extra minutes reading the feature story always located on the top left of Page One.
Initially I misread the headline and believed it was a story about legal reform in China. I thought it said, "Statute of Limitations In China," rather than the correct reading "Stature of Limitations In China. The smaller headline, called a "drop head" in the old days, gave me the clue to my mistake. That headline read ‘‘In A Newly Competitive Society Being Short Can Mean People Being Passed Over. To Some People, The Answer Lies In A painful Surgery That Adds Inches."
In short, (sorry) the story details how a number of Chinese are having surgeries to gain up to three inches in height within about six months. The operations cost about $6,000 and with the average Chinese urbanite earning about $1,100 annually, the procedure is not for the masses although the demand is high.
Basically the procedure involves breaking the leg, pulling the pieces apart during the mending process, forcing the bones to grow until the legs achieve their limits It was this paragraph which sent my mind to reflecting on my own limited stature: "It may sound like medieval torture, but people who are determined to stand taller say it's nothing short of a dream maker."
I read most of the whole story but since I was a little short on spare time; I didn't finish it. But the seeds of thought were planted.
I later mentioned the story to the boss, Voice publisher John Lindt, who towers above me by a couple inches. We agreed we would pass on the surgical procedure especially after viewing the photos included in the story.
And since the Best Week Of The Year was at hand, I was counting my personal blessings. Being short isn't the greatest thing and despite some early days of grief in childhood, high school and early "later" life, I've done pretty well with living the "Short Life."
Probably very few short guys have endured more "short" jokes, teasing, and harassment than me. Catcalls like "Hey, Stumpy, how's the weather down there," or nicknames like "Inches" instead of Miles or"sawed off" and the humiliation of being stuffed in campus garbage cans.Those things weren't fun, but I survived with few, if any, emotional scars.
Getting turned down by taller girls on the rare times I dared to seek a high school dance dancing partner are still in the memory bank. But in later life when "average' height" or taller girls and women asked me to dance, the past indignities melted almost totally away.
I wasn't too old when I realized I would not be tall, dark and handsome. Until later years, I was rather fit and semi-trim. But still short. While dating in highschool was limited, despite having some of the best looking female friends in school and college, I didn't do too bad in later years with the softer sex, but that's another story, one which may or may not be written.
Anyhow, my wife thinks it's wonderful that when we win the California Lottery not a cent will go to "make me taller" surgery.
I will be content to buy several big television sets, top of the line radios and great barbecue and the best yard lounge money can buy. And have an even bigger blast during Daylight Savings Time.
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