Going to the Moon

Ralph Kramden repeatedly promised to send Alice there.

“You're going to the moon, Alice!” Jackie Gleason often repeated on the TV classic “The Honeymooners.”
Well pholks, my brother Don is sending me to the moon—at least my name, Yes, the name Miles Shuper is destined to land on the moon within the next few years. My brother's name, Donald Shuper, will be there too. Forever.

Miles Around The Earth could be a great expansion project.

Our names will be among lots of others, probably thousands, to be inscribed somewhere on Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter LRO currently scheduled to go to the moon in the late fall of this year, to map the lunar surface to help pave the way for humans to return to the moon. The object is to find safe landing sites, locate potential resources, characterize the radiation environment and demonstrate new technology.

I've received a certificate showcasing my support of the “Go to the Moon” sort of a guarantee that my name will be there. I'm not real sure how I personally would be able to verify a man-made device with my name on it really did land there, but in this case, I will put my trust in the NASA rocket scientists, engineers, craftsmen and others who know their jobs.

My brother worked in the aerospace industry for many years and I have followed space flight and technology since Sputnik was launched.

As expected, as soon as I told people about my birthday present, all the normal “spacey” taunts were launched. Within a minute, someone asked how much it would cost to send me there, while another smarty pants (which cover a smart you know what) said, “Well, we always think of you as kind of 'spacey' or 'way out there.'”
Of course, the suggestion that I try “wing walking” on the launch rocket or the LRC came up in reference to my 1979 ride on the outside of a 650-horsepower Stearman bi-plane. A guy walks one wing and he's known forever as a wing walker.

And heck, if I volunteered to do that, some taxpayer group would demand I pay a share of the fuel. Rocket fuel, pholks, is a heck of a lot more expensive than the $4.49 (this week) gasoline.

I've always been enthralled about flight and space exploration and followed the Space Program very closely, but several years ago finally admitted I'll never get into space, even if I were to win several hundred million bucks in the Lotto and could pay my way. But every once in a while, I still have dreams about traveling in space and seeing other worlds.

Having my name on a man-made creation on the lunar surface is, for all practical purposes, as close as I'll come. That will be something to talk about and hopefully for which I will be remembered for in a positive way. Although my name will be on some sort of micro-chip along with the untold thousands or millions who have signed up for the honor, I'm sure that access to those names from a laptop or device will come along. By then, I might be able to learn how to do that.

And if any of you younger pholks get up there after I'm really gone, look me up by whatever means it takes. And make sure to remove any graffiti from the printout of my name.

Hopefully, vandalism won't be a problem since one of the prime missions of the LRC is to take a real close look at the neighborhood before the next humans take the next “Giant Step for Mankind.”

Miles can be reached at mshuper@valleyvoicenewspaper.com