A Wonderful Christmas

Well pholks, I didn't get an iPhone for Christmas. Nothing with 2, 3 or more Gs, whatever that means, under our tree.

Nor did I get anything electronic or that required batteries. I had a wonderful Christmas, thank you very much. Kathy and I had a blessed Christmas morning and later in the afternoon a simple but outstanding home-cooked prime rib dinner. It was a nice day after an excellent Christmas Eve service at church.

We did not have to assemble anything, therefore no extra or missing parts to contend with. That itself is something to celebrate. Nothing requiring an instruction book written in seven languages – plus English – was among the gifts we received. We did not have to talk to someone in India, China, Vietnam, Taiwan or anywhere else to tell us how to get things working.

And not one gift will have to be exchanged or redeemed. And now those saved receipts can become embraced by the rest of the wrapping, tissue, boxes and plastics in the trash can.

How many of you pholks can match that?

Having such a simple yet outstanding Christmas is going to make for an excellent start of the New Year, as far as I look at things.

By not having to deal with some new gadget or device designed to enhance my social networking or entertainment needs, I am going to face the New Year in a mellow, peaceful mode.

I admit to having a cheap cell phone which I sometimes complain about but not because it doesn't have certain “apps” (applications for those of you who aren't even as connected as me). My issues are in retrieving an occasional missed call or selecting “vibrate.” Fearing I haven't correctly muted the ring tone, I normally lock my phone in my truck. I have about the simplest simple cell phone available. Simple is as simple does.

Still pholks, there are times when it takes me a minute or two to get things right and find a saved number or retrieve a voice message. Generally, I don't retrieve my messages since they usually are those recorded things from someone trying to sell me something or remind me I'm a little late in paying for something. If it really is important, the caller will call back.

I don't answer my cell phone when I'm driving and I'm not about to spend money for a device allowing me to answer “hands free.” Either I pull over and take the call, if it is convenient and safe to do so, or I attempt to call back the last call I received – one of the functions I correctly do at least 75 percent of the time.

I've got to admit I have asked for help a few times to get my simple phone to perform a simple chore. A little embarrassment is good for the soul and being humble is usually not fatal nor does it require a doctor's visit or a prescription.

And I'm certainly not impressed by how many “apps” someone else has. As far as I'm concerned, some people rely on “apps” as a substitute for having a real life. Personally, I don't have time for extracurricular “apps” and would rather watch ESPN, listen to a good radio sports broadcast, read a book, check out the Corner Café for “news” before going to the office or have a diet soda at the Lamp Liter Lounge after work for any “late breaking news.”

As I mentioned, I'm happy with my limited “apps,” most of which I never use. I can't take photos with my phone, I don't think, but that's okay. I can text and receive texts but I don't and won't.

I have no desire to twitter or be twitted. I don't need Facebook, I rely on face-to-face. Call me or e-mail me at the office. Today, e-mail is a way-of-life, even for simple 'ol me and I use it at work all day. I don't use it at home, another factor which, some would say, makes me a little different than most pholks. So, you want to make something of it, do you? E-mail or call me at the office. Don't text me or even think about twittering me. I probably couldn't re-twitter you if I wanted to, even if my simple cell phone would let me.

The bottom line is, pholks, I again rejoiced in the true meaning of Christmas this year and am preparing for a New Year which I think will be better in many ways.