Farm Show

The Super Bowl of Farm Shows is here.

And pholks, guess what? It's raining this week.

And that is indeed a good thing. Unlike football, baseball, golf and tennis and other events, the World Ag Expo, what local pholks still call "The Farm Show," flourishes in wet weather. Rain keeps farmers and ranchers out of the fields and gives them some time off to try and keep up with what is new. Exhibitors like to see farmers in their booths rather than just looky-loos and those who don't know a three-point auger from a hole in the ground or a 550-psi spray nozzle from a six-row cotton picker.

Sure, rain brings big puddles and creates lots of mud, but over the years, hundreds of volunteers and lots of preparation – mainly tons of sand and bark – and back and front and sideways loaders, shovels, buckets and rakes tame the mud and floating bark into manageable nuisances. Farmers and ranchers and wannabe cowboys and cowgirls have their boots. Of course, there always are a few high-heeled, painted-on-jeans-wearing gals parading the show grounds no matter the conditions, but they somehow always seem to know how to avoid the mud.

I have my ticket and my parking pass but, since it's only Monday, my plans are still up in the air where moisture is lingering this afternoon before the official start of the big doings. There's something new to see at the show, a big percentage being gadgets or machines which puzzle the heck out of me. I often stand close enough to eavesdrop during a sales pitch or inquiry from someone who knows what he or she is looking at.

All too often, I've watched a demonstration of the newest and best of something before finally drifting away, saying to myself, "Self, that was really neat, whatever it was."

The World Ag Expo attracts visitors and exhibitors from the whole wide world, a fact which in itself provides an educational experience sans expensive travel cost and valuable time.

Australia has long been a key foreign exhibitor at the Tulare show providing one of the most diverse and popular list of state-of-the-art agricultural tools. The Aussies became an almost overnight sensation several decades ago when they brought a huge supply of Foster Lager with them. The blue, red and silver quart-sized cans proved to be a hit and the Down-Under booth was crowded. Fosters is one of the country's major brews, even though the cans shipped to the U.S. were of lower proof than in their homeland.

Times have changed and there are some restrictions about beer in booths, but the Australians continue to be a big draw, along with dozens of other international booths.

Food at the Farm Show is an attraction by itself. Tri-tip steaks and sandwiches, Portuguese-style beams, Mexican, Asian and everything in between draw huge crowds, raising major funds for dozens of local clubs, organizations and groups. They serve as unofficial gossip headquarters and meeting places for those who scattered to various exhibits to check things out.

Even with all the agricultural innovations unveiled or touted by eager exhibitors, the World Ag Expo is perhaps the biggest farming social clambake in the San Joaquin Valley.

Even with the gate fee climbing to $12, the ag extravaganza is many times less costly than a trip to the Super Bowl, doesn't have to be best watched on HD 72-inch TV, and doesn't have commercials which cost $3 million for 30 seconds and halftime musical blowouts.

And if you have boots and are careful in choosing your hiking routes, have a good hat or water-repellent coat, and crave the best beans, nachos and barbequed tri-tip around, it's a heck of a deal.

ONE MORE SUPER BOWL tale which should be noted is the party held at Hugh Hefner's Beverly Hills Playboy Mansion and attended by a local family this year. It wasn't the first visit by the local restaurant and lounge owners, but their first football bash attended by hundreds.

Although they are somewhat reluctant to say just how much the tickets cost, family members say the price is well worth it, considering the beauty and beauties and other amenities at the fabled mansion, probably the most famous party site around.

Any they didn't have to worry about stepping in the mud.

Miles can be reached at mshuper@valleyvoicenewspaper.com