Sports Watching Addiction

To lots of pholks, watching the constant stream of football, especially during the holiday season, is a waste of time.
And for the most part, it is – if you shirk the responsibilities of shopping, cleaning house, washing the car, caring for the yard, cleaning out the garage, putting up and taking down the holiday decorations, being a good host or a good holiday guest.

But practically all those things can be done without missing very much football. Instant replay, record-and-play television modes, commercial and team timeouts are wonderful advances for real phans and those who overindulge during the holidays.

With the recent weather conditions adding to the lure of the television, I watched lots and lots of football and still have some to go.

In between games, I took a few extra times out to give some consideration about all the extra time I've been spending on sports watching, rather than some more productive use of my leisure time. In addition, I gave serious thoughts to justify that time, attempting to prove to myself that I wasn't really wasting time, but rather gaining some benefits. I came to the conclusion that I've been engaged in a kind of educational experience.

I have some proof that I've really gained some knowledge and that my sports watching addiction is not such a waste of time.

The biggest part of this education has been increased vocabulary. I consider myself pretty good with words and I strive not to use ones which I don't really know their full meaning. I have kept up with changes in the English language over the years, except some of the hip-hop music (?) lexicon and ever-advancing computer technological lingo.

But this year's flood of televised sporting events, especially football, has me scratching my increasingly bare scalp.
Where in the world did those sports announcers, coaches and some players come up with the term “trickeration” to describe unusual or surprise plays? “Trickeration” is not a word I can find in the dictionary, at least in the latest one in the office or home. Sure, there have been trick plays, teams which use tricky maneuvers and coaches known for their trickery. Hearing it once was kind of cute but its use has been spreading faster that athletes foot in the locker room. I don't understand what is so appealing for that word. It's like a joke you hear for the first time which makes you chuckle then it become as irritating as that athletes foot infection.

This last weekend, I discovered another new word, “conversate.” It was used by a star quarterback who led his team to a come-from-behind playoff run and a first-round victory. He was describing how he and a teammate work out setting up their plays. “He and I conversate a lot,” he explained to a reporter who just took that comment in stride. I would have questioned that term by asking, “You did what? Is that legal?”

This quarterback seems like a born leader and generally well-educated. But now I wonder how he communicates with his teammates in the locker room and the huddle. “Let's run r-x 162, right, just like we conversated Friday in practice,” to which the right tackle responded, “I don't recall conversating that, but I remember discussing an off-tackle slant.” To which our hero said, “Well, I'm telling you now, when coach and I conversate and then I conversate with you guys, you'd better pay attention.”

I think maybe this quarterback has listened too much to George W. Bush who seems to have coined a few words during his tenure. He has a knack for adding “ification” or twisting prefixes or suffixes to existing words. I bet those “talents” will be a major part of his Presidential legacy.

Maybe this quarterback has political ambitions which no one has even conservated about in public.
Gotta finish this up, pholks, after all, kickoff is in 15 minutes.

Miles can be reached at mshuper@valleyvoicenewspaper.com