Sandman

If you are reading this an hour earlier than normal, then you didn't fall back last weekend as you should have.

Yep pholks, the end of Daylight Savings Time is here. As most of you know, I hate when that happens.

For those of you who simply slept an extra hour after turning back the clock before hitting the hay, I'm happy for you. But, the fact is I couldn't care less about that hour. Sure, I know that it's that same hour we gave up last spring when we sprang ahead. Even a person like me who continues to struggle in hope of reaching the three-digit IQ level realizes that.

With one eye semi-opened and one ear sort of activated as the Sandman battled the 11 p.m. TV newscast a couple nights ago, I had an epiphany which could make this time change thing something really worth while.

Despite all the high-tech personal notebooks, journals, multi-faceted alarms and message devices, everybody still has his or her personal Sandman. He doesn't need batteries nor is he digital. Oh, before I go any further, let me be perfectly clear. For those who insist on being PC-politically correct – which I don't – the term Sandperson applies.
Anyhow, this is what came to my semi-alert mind:

Whether or not the Sandman (Sandperson) chooses to slip a little extra sand into you eyes or manages your personal sand-filled hour glass, he needs more sand on time-change day.

So pholks, here is my Sandman Stimulus Plan, a proposal which could certainly boost the economy and go a long way to wake up this nation. It's a simple plan which I think could reap multiple rewards.

It would start with a bailout of about $10 billion to fund the mining projects, trucking and stock piling, distribution and labor for moving several hundred million tons of sand for Sandman to do his thing. An extra hour's worth of sand for each itsy bitsy personal hourglass, or for larger two-hour glasses, adds up considering the population of the U.S., the Virgin Islands and other territories. Some might argue that just turning over the hourglass one more time at the end of Daylight Savings Time is better than adding the extra sand for just one day. I say no. Not only are you completely wasting your chance for that extra hour of sleep, but you are contributing absolutely nothing to the economy.

I know, I know, you're going to ask what happens after with all that extra sand after the extra hour. Again, the answer is simple. You just ship the bulk of it to the Mojave Desert, some to golf course sand traps, some to cement companies and contractors and just a little to some beaches. More work, more jobs, more money cycling through the economy like sand through an hourglass, so to speak. So goes the days of our economy.

Of course, taking sand to the beach has always been kind of a joke, but a few beaches can use a little makeover. That should, of course, be last on the list.

Considering all the jobs for equipment operators, truck drivers, logistics experts and other new employment opportunities, my plan makes sense. Heck pholks, the Sandman most likely would have to hire lots of part-time help in delivering, installing and removing sand to allow millions of Americans to sleep easier, become more energetic and productive. This will lead to a rejuvenated national spirit. Finding applicants for assistant Sandmen wouldn't be difficult because it would be easy and entertaining work. However, screening applications would be a major requirement since Sandman assistants would be entering bedrooms at whatever time day or night needed. Fired airline pilots with a history of losing track of time due to laptop addiction need not apply. More jobs in job screening, accounting and payroll and such equates to more employment.

All this goes to prove there is much which can be done to get this country back on track.

Remember each of us can use that extra hour anytime we want. It would be great to do something constructive with those extra 60 minutes. Mark my words: I challenge each of you to “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your county with an extra hour.”

I've already used my extra hour coming up with this great plan. And, I didn't lose any sleep over it.