Fashion

Sheriff Andy Taylor's uniform was nicely pressed and Deputy Barney Fife's khaki's looked clean and fit as well as could be expected.

The deputy's cap was, of course, just a bit askew, but the guys were in fashion for their times.

And the gang on “60 Minutes “were well-groomed as always and all the characters on the re-runs of “Law and Order” and “NCIS” were well adorned in outfits befitting their individual tastes.

You see pholks, I paid a little bit more attention Sunday evening to fashion on TV because it was Oscar Night. I caught very little of the Academy Awards show, especially the Red Carpet arrival hoopla. It wasn't by accident, but rather, should I say, by design.

Sure, I like movies and generally know which films and what major stars, directors and songs are up for the big entertainment honors. But in recent years I've seen only a couple of the nominated films.

But I just wasn't excited about this year's big event. I haven't seen any of this year's crop and I likely won't, at least for six months or a couple of years.

Don' get me wrong, pholks, I'm sure all films reportedly are well worth all the fuss they've generated. But all the fashion stuff is just too much for me. I don't care who is wearing whose creations and couldn't care less about what the so-called fashion police think about each dress, suit, jewelry, hairstyle or shoes. My wife, Kathy, can design and create her own clothes if she wants to and would have my neck if I even suggested either of us buying something we saw on the Red Carpet.

I know, yes, I know, that looking good is important for all those Hollywood types. Even the want-to-bes and the overnight sensations have to make a big splash. They have to look good. Problem is, pholks, I think most of them look stupid, silly, awkward and plain uncomfortable while smiling, hugging, kissing and even crying. Can you imagine the cost of getting a champagne or cavalier stain out of a $25,000 gown or an $8,000 tux?

Even though Sheriff Taylor, Barney, Opie, Aunt Bee and the gang did their thing several decades ago, they dressed their parts well. I don't recall a single comment about who designed their wardrobes or styled their hair.

Despite my efforts to stay away from the Oscar Night Sunday night, the early morning Monday programs and Monday newspapers bombarded me with more fashion news than I could handle.

I really like Sandra Bullock and was glad she won the Best Actress award even though I didn't see her film. But the fact she wore a dress described on TV and print which described as being fashioned after the Oscar statuette itself - silver and gold - were the big news in Hollywood fashion on Oscar Night, screamed the headlines.

I screamed too, but not for the dresses.

It just made me think how great it would be to see Sheriff Andy Taylor throw about a dozen so-called fashion gurus in the Mayberry pokey, force them to put up with Barney showing off his single bullet and how it would be the perfect accessory for a high-fashion gown or men's tie clip.

And how entertaining it would be to have Otis, Mayberry's town drunk, in the adjoining cell adding his thoughts about fashion?

Now that, pholks, would be an award-winning show and maybe even an Oscar winner if it made the “Big Screen”

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