Love Story Versus Reality
The American Film Institute says that seven of the top 10 greatest love stories have endings where couples do not end up together. Who needs that? I pay $9.50 to escape reality – I can get bad endings for free.
When you meet the love of your life you don't instantly start thinking about dirty diapers, paying bills and who's going to wash the car. You need a grace period. That's what a good romantic movie does — transports you back to that grace period for an hour or two. Who needs more reality?
For instance, I love the story of “My Fair Lady.” But the ending stunk worse than Rex Harrison's slippers. If I'd been Audrey Hepburn, I might have stuffed said slippers into his smug little smile.
And, “Love means never having to say you're sorry.” I'm sorry, but I've never bought into that one. To make a real “love story” work you better say you're sorry – a lot. Even sometimes when you're not. But “Love Story” still earns a two-hankie rating.
I must concede that if “Casablanca” had ended any other way it wouldn't be the legend that it is. Some films are just right for finishing off a bad week and they go perfectly with a box of Puffs and a quart of Häagen-Dazs.
Despite its eventual happy outcome, “An Affair to Remember” falls into that category, also. Apparently, no woman can ever forget “An Affair to Remember.” And if they'd keep it in mind, men might get a big payoff, too – Cary Grant was the impeccable example of how to be irresistibly suave and debonair even under ridiculous circumstances.
Some movies just have endings you'd like to jump right into.
For me “Cinderella” tops that list. Whether it's animated by Disney, features Richard Chamberlain singing (“The Slipper and the Rose”), or even Drew Barrymore (“Ever After”) I'd hop right into her glass slippers.
Even though I've found my own Prince Charming, sometimes it's nice to completely suspend reality and get pulled into a fairy tale. “The Princess Bride,” “Ella Enchanted” and “Stardust” are just the ticket for that. Ah, wouldn't life be lovely if everyday evils like traffic and taxes appeared as creatures with ugly heads we could lop off?
Some films have proven that even sweethearts of different species can manage to overcome their differences. But I imagine their “happily-ever-afters” might have a few glitches.
In “Splash,” Tom Hanks is smitten by a mermaid played by Daryl Hannah. But you just know that when the honeymoon wore off he would end up complaining about how long she spent in the bathtub.
And in “Ladyhawke,” after returning to their human forms the scheduling conflicts began. Navarre (the former wolf) would always be nocturnal, while his wife, Isabeau, (the former hawk) would continue to be an early bird.
My husband complains that I take too long to get ready to go out for the evening. Imagine what Gene Kelly was in for. In “Brigadoon,” each night equaled a hundred years.
Yes, courtship should last forever, but the movie “50 First Dates” takes it a bit too far. The girl had a head injury that left her with a memory only one day long. The young man who falls for her finds himself having to get her to fall in love with him over and over every day. But on the upside, he had found the one woman in the universe who really could forgive and forget.
In real life if a woman saved a stranger's life, and then takes up residence in his life and family while he's in a coma, she'd be locked up one way or the other. Only Hollywood magic could turn that plot into one of my all-time favorite love stories: “While You Were Sleeping.” Of course, having Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman didn't hurt either.
Having the right movie star can almost single-handedly carry the whole movie. Think Meg Ryan or Tom Hanks. In “Sleepless in Seattle,” somehow the audience falls for two people falling for each other despite the fact that they don't even meet until the last minute of the movie. On top of that, we're supposed to believe that a precocious nine-year-old chose the love of his father's life from a single letter. I don't let my boys choose my laundry detergent.
But you can choose wisely this Valentine's Day; save the $9.50 and rent a movie proven to trade reality for your favorite happy ending. Everyone needs a little grace period. Just don't forget the hankies and the Häagen-Dazs.
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