Shall We Dance
Next Saturday, Visalia will have more limos than Hollywood has photographers. And no, the writer's strike has not driven the Oscars to the Fox Theatre. All those limos will be chauffeuring high school couples to Winter Formal, and any paparazzi you see are just parents trying to sneak in a good shot.
So make reservations at your favorite restaurant, or you're likely to be eating in the alley. At ten. You might want to dress up a bit more than usual so you won't feel like Cinderella in her “before” photos. And just because you're headed to In-N-Out Burger doesn't mean you're immune to seeing boys in tuxedos and girls in sequins – it happens!
The kids have gotten so creative in the ways they invite their dates to a dance. When I was in high school (way back when you could only find a big screen in a theater) it was a nervous phone call or rushed conversation: “So, do ya' wanna go to the dance . . . with me?” And an equally nervous and hurried answer, “Uh-h-h, yeah, sure; tha'd-be-great.” Details and sometimes even the whole invitation transaction were handled through friends. (Hey, maybe that's where the whole “get your people to talk to my people” thing started.)
It's hard to imagine we ever got close enough to actually dance with each other. Oh, wait a minute, it was the eighties; we didn't get close enough to dance with each other – unless you were doing “the bump.” And that doesn't even count as a dance.
Anyway, I was amazed at the creativity of my son and his friends. They are all newly 16, and for most of them it's their dating premiere. I was also amazed at how much money they invested on just asking the girl! The whole production costs a bundle. On the boys' side, tuxedos, tickets, flowers, pictures, dinner and transportation, not to mention the creative costs of inviting your date, really gets expensive. I cringe to think of everything that's involved for the girls, with a formal dress, wrap, shoes, purse, hair, make-up and nails. I guess I should count it as a small fringe benefit that my husband was stingy with his “X” chromosomes.
But despite the fact that he tells our son he's “just spending money on another man's (future) wife,” my husband has been inventing ways for our son to earn the needed money. One of the chores was to get up on the ladder and prune our plum tree. It struck me as an apropos chore for his cause. Rather like asking the girl in the first place: being on shaky ground and going out on a limb.
Some of those boys really went out on a limb when they did the asking. Public proposals can lead to public humiliation. Decorating cars, stuffed bears with T-shirts “bearing” the question, flowers, sweets, and serenades: so many inventive ideas for convincing someone to spend a special evening with them. How could the girl possibly say anything but yes? In an equally creative way, of course. But hey, “no's” happen, too.
My son had it covered, though. He placed a banner in the chosen girl's driveway that read, “Will you rock out at formal with me? Bring the rock with your answer to school.” Below the banner sat two rocks; one said “yes,” one said “no.” The “yes” rock was decoratively painted and would fit neatly into a pocket. The other rock had a plain “no” on it, and would make a great boat anchor. For the Titanic. Now, that was good dating insurance.
For all those young people out there headed out for their glamorous night at Winter Formal here are some etiquette tips:
Do: Boys: Open the door for your date. Girls: Let the date open your door. Nothing says special occasion like a little chivalry.
Do: Say please or thank you, and yes or no. “Yeah, sure; tha'd-be-great” apparently doesn't cut it anymore.
Do: Be careful if you're driving yourself. There'll be lots of out-of-town drivers (all those limos), the weather isn't supposed to be pretty and . . . Rented Shoes – 'nough said.
Do: Talk to your date. Letting “your people talk to my people” doesn't work in small groups.
Do Not: Curse at, punch or run over the paparazzi, they are people, too, and in this case they might just be people you're related to.
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