County Leads Valley in Same-sex Couples
Raising Children
By Nicole Agnew
Exeter - The most recent U.S. Census reports 46 percent of the 824 same-sex couples living in Tulare County have children.
According to Census figures, Tulare County has the highest percentage of same-sex couples raising children in the Central Valley and the second-highest percentage in all of California.
With Tulare County's reputation as a bastion of conservative Christians -- 75.1 percent of Tulare County voters voted yes on Proposition 8 in 2008, the second highest Prop 8 vote total in California next to Kern County -- the Census report has left many around the state puzzled.
Garry Gates, a demographer with the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, agrees that the recent findings seem to pose quite a paradox. “[Tulare County] is not San Francisco, it's not L.A. It's not where we know to be very high enclaves of the gay population.”
But Gates added: “Conservative places, ironically, create more gay families.”
With only 19 percent of same-sex couples in the Census disclosing that they adopted their children, one explanation Gates offers for the Census paradox is that in these moderate communities, it was harder for the gay generation raising kids today to come out earlier in life, and are thus now raising children from their former heterosexual relationships.
Gates' reasoning accounts for why liberal San Francisco boasts the lowest percentage of same sex couples raising children, because individuals feel more comfortable going public with their sexuality in these gay-friendly communities and do not have children from previous heterosexual relationships.
After these individuals have come out, most have chosen to stay in their conservative communities to bring up their children close to where the child's other parent resides. At this stage of their lives, many have established a career in their towns and thus fear starting over in another job market.
Although same-sex couples would feel safer living in a gay-friendly city such as San Francisco, like most heterosexual couples the high cost-of-living in bigger cities is a deterrent.
One same-sex couple who have chosen to stay in their community are Tulare county residents, Dr. Kristin Beasley and Candi Hood, owners of Visalia-based Clarity of Thought Consulting, which offers life coaching, parent support and an integrative approach to health and wellness.
Calling themselves the “lesbian Brady Bunch”, Beasley, Hood, and their six children from previous marriages, have been a family for the past four years.
Recently quoted in SF Gate, the San Francisco Chronicle's Web site, Beasley said, “Neither of us regrets having our children in the way we had them. But we both recognized that we missed our boats, in a way.”
Beasley admits there are challenges for homosexuals who have been known as heterosexuals for most of their lives. “Because we have lived both lives, we have both perspectives,” she said. “You see the injustices even more when you have lived most of your life with the benefits of heterosexual privilege."
Both Beasley and Hood have Master's degrees in Early Care and Education, and Beasley has a doctorate in clinical psychology. Both women are no strangers to the studies of the developmental effects of children being raised in a same-sex household. “This is my field, as well as my life,” Beasley said, adding that studies have shown that the only developmental difference in children raised by same-sex parents is that they tend to be less aggressive. “Other than that, there is no difference,” Beasley said.
The paradox does not end with Tulare County's high percentage of same sex couples raising children. Tulare County is also one of the only areas in the state, along with the progressive Castro community of San Francisco to have a Pride Lions Club. Forty-four members strong as of February 2011, Visalia Pride Lions Club works to raise money and support specifically for their local gay community and also the larger Tulare/King County community through fundraisers, volunteerism, and scholarships.
Also, Tulare County's conservative neighboring community, Fresno, is unexpectedly home to the sixth oldest and one of the largest annual gay film festivals in the entire country, Fresno Reel Pride.
With the recent Google Chrome commercials
that feature celebrities and everyday individuals offering inspirational
support and advice for gay teens, and storylines in the wildly popular
T.V. show, Glee, that shed light on the issues that the young gay community
face, the debate of gay rights have lately received more publicity and
support across the youth of the liberal and conservative communities of
America.
This current and well-received recognition and support brewing in America's
youth for the gay community gives Beasley and many others hope for the
future.
“Ultimately, I am optimistic,” Beasley said. “The kids in this up and coming generation are behind gay rights and equity. This is the civil rights issue of their generation.”
While some question why same-sex couples would choose to deal with the challenges of raising their children in conservative areas, Judy Appel, executive Director of the Bay Area gay and lesbian family support group, Our Family Now, recognizes why same-sex couples take this route. “I think that people raise families where they live,” Appel told SF Gate. “Sexual orientation is just one part of our identity.”
Division leader of Gay Visalia and on the Board of Directors of Gay Central Valley, Brooke Burke agrees with Appel's statement. “We are just like any other family. We eat a family dinner around 6:30 like most folks, you know? We are who we are.”
Beasley said: “We are typical families. This needs to be talked about. We are not a scary population. Let us tell you our stories, and then make a decision.”
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